Monday, March 30, 2009

That thing we do....

We broke!! And then we broke again!!

It was pretty much awesome.
::highfives Zack::
Way to go. We rocked.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Los Ojos

Aren't eyes beautiful? Aren't they mysterious and enchanting?
I have always loved eyes. The first thing I notice in a person are their eyes; those fascinating orbs of color and light.

I love how eyes sparkle. Dance. Laugh. They can cry too. They can speak an entire language, all their own. You can have a whole conversation with someone, and never utter a single word. It's a beautiful reality. Eyes.

My eyes are green; green with a streak of brown in my left. My mom's eyes are blue; a striking, lovely Ryan's. Sara's are like the sea: a soft, yet dangerous grey - they change colors with her mood. And Mark's. Mark's are a deep, rich my Dad's.

You can share in someone's joy through their eyes. Using only your eyes you can silently laugh together. You can sense someone's grief or pain, just by reading their eyes. You can reassure someone...using only your eyes.
I've read lots of eyes this week. Thrilled, joyous eyes full of hope and excitement. Sad, crushed eyes, confused and devastated. Eyes full of tears. Eyes brimming with happiness. Beautiful eyes.
I love eyes. I love the mystery that surrounds them. A sense of quiet secrecy dances within them. I watch people's eyes and I wonder what they're thinking, what thoughts are floating just behind those glistening eyes? I've wanted to know what those eyes are thinking many times this week. I'll never really know. But that's okay.
My own eyes hold my own secrets.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


This is a fantastic Jewish song I recently fell in love with. Listen to it. Bask in the Hebrew and Yiddish. Soak up the textures. Close your eyes and let yourself sway to the rhythm. It's happy and the feeling is contagious.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Miscellaneous Poetry

It's midnight and my mind is whirling with poems galore. Some in the form of songs, some in the form of my own creations and some just in the form of abstract thinking. Here are a couple of them:

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath...and the door for me
You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that

You've already won me over in spite of me
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are

Quiet! Can you hear it?
The endless heartbeat of the earth
An echo; throbbing pulsing
Hidden deep within its chest.

Listen! Can you feel it?
The rotation of the earth?
Spinning, flying, endless twirling
A great celestial dance.

You see it in a lifetime
That once vibrant now grows wane
Something ending, something growing
Neverending. Ever-turning
In the seasons and in dance
Sleeping, waking, living, breathing
Stars and moon and rocks and plants
Listen! Can't you feel it?
It's the endless pulse of life.
From the heartbeat to the spinning
From the whisper to the laugh.

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words you could not find

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

USD Tournament

1,168 miles later...
2 jacuzzi soaks later...
3 grueling, intense, wonderful tournament days later...
10 hours of driving later...
5 CDs later...
3 incredibly awesome rounds of debate later (ironic those happen to be the three we lost)...
4 rounds of duo later...
1 unbelievable sweepstakes trophy later...
Millions of memories later...

Monday, March 9, 2009

A heart speaks...

Burning, roaring, silently fuming
Across the deserts of my heart she flies.
Going nowhere, thinking nothing,
But furious questions and anguished cries.

Why? Why?
If I was truly loved, would not my heart feel?
Imaginary doors slam in a
Cold, dark world of steel.

Pain. Anger. Confusion. Tears.
Introverted cries for help.
Yet she is strong and never bends
Defending those who need her help.

Unwavering. Pretending to be strong
Dry eyes in a torrent of painful rain.
Heart crying, face clenching
Eyes glistening, she vows again.

Burning, roaring, silently fuming
Across the deserts of my heart she flies.
Going nowhere, thinking nothing,
But furious questions and anguished cries.

Why do you turn your head? Why do you ignore?
It all continues, never-ending
Ceaseless insanity and pain.
She's wounded, but unbending.

Call it stubborn, call it pride.
You'll never know, you'll never feel.
It's called endurance, it's called survival.
A hideous dance on a cyclical wheel.

And yet, she's needed.
She cannot run.
A solitary pillar in a crumbling world.
Desperately holding nothing, beneath a glaring sun.

Nothing's right. Nothing's wrong.
It's a world without a name.
Ignore it. Just move on.
It's a sick and endless game.

Silent. Keep it secret.
Ignore explosions in the front.
Hide them, swallow them.
Let your heart endure the brunt.

Torn. Callused. Weary. Hardened.
Is it wrong to feel this way?
"Love your enemies", it tells us
And yet, it's repeated ever day.

"I love you" makes me cringe
The hug is just a show
My heart has departed
It's hiding, lost within my soul.

Can I smile? Can I laugh?
Yes, it's easy to pretend.
And yet, beauty abounds
Aesthetics help a saddened spirit mend.


"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Let The Little Lady Talk

I've caught the wind from the fits you throw
I've got nothing left no but to let it go, I'll let it go
Well, welcome home, another late night show
We're fighting for the knockout

Let down when you're on top, you don't stop
You gotta let the little lady talk
Back down, get on the wall, you don't stop
You gotta let the little lady talk.

You gotta let the little lady talk

-Capital Lights

Saturday, March 7, 2009


Staring up at the wooden doors three stories above me, I couldn't help but be a bit puzzled. Creaking hinges complained as rustic doors swung mid-air. No ladders, no life-saving platform, no nothing. Why three doors, and why there? Silence reigned and the answers remained elusive.

Staring up through the porthole of a WWII German Submarine sunk off the chilly Terschelling coast, I couldn't help but be fascinated. Covered in stubborn barnacles and the aging fingerprints of long-gone seaweed and coral, this once powerful and fearful machine of war now sat in grave silence. It seemed to whisper the sea's mysteries as the wind whistled through decades-old rivets and empty torpedo shells. It groaned and creaked...seeming so displaced there on shore.

It waited in silence. A single pulley, without rope, without function or purpose. Quietly waiting. For what? The Spanish breeze danced across the cracking and crumbling plaster of the old Canarian house, and the single wooden shutter slammed - open, shut, open, shut. And yet, inside the motionless house, that single pulley hung. Motionless. Undisturbed. Waiting.


There are many things I find mysterious. Strange. Puzzling. So many thing beg my attention, and yet stubbornly refuse to yield information or explanation.
Tonight, for the last 9 hours, actually, it's been nothing but debate, debate, debate. Are the nutritional suppliments found in a bar of peanuty-paste really going to help anything? Is sanitary water an achievable goal for India and what about hinuistic religious barriers? Does the U.S. have any business providing humanitarian aid whilst drowning in our own economic recession? What about Kashmir; do we just ignore them? Are microloans a blessing or a blight? Do I sound like enough of a geek yet?

9 hours. And yet, just like many other intriguing monsters the answers remain elusive. Difficult. Complicated. Fascinating. 4 more days, folks. Four short days until it'll all packed up and we leave for San Diego. I absolutly can't wait - and I have to squelch my excitement in order to productive at ALL!

German legend has it that if you spin the golden circlet three times and make a wish, it'll come true. Why a golden orb surrounded by dark iron? How many people have spun that circlet? Did Hitler? Did a Jew, standing in the town square? I guess I'll never know.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Muddled Musings

Texas was amazing. For all the craziness leading up to it, once there, the whole adventure quieted a bit and turned into a wonderful, exciting rollercoaster of emotions and events. Speeches soared...and bombed. Friends won...and lost. Competitive spirits were satisfied...and crushed. It was thrilling. It was wonderful. I loved nearly every single fantastic minute of it. AAAAAnd, I qualified. That was incredible.

Favorite moment, besides those two glorious surprises at award ceremony, would have to have been flying back to the tournament during debate semis and finals and hoping into the jacuzzi for 20 minutes before changing back into "professionality." Chad, Zack and I raced down the three flights of stairs, stumbled out the door, frantically whizzed around the pool gate and slowly, happily sank into the warm, bubbly, heavenly hot tub. When does that EVER happen at a tournament? Can we say pure bliss? After a long day of IE semis and finals, continual adrenaline rushes, the stresses of friends in Octofinals, and three days of tired feet - it was h-e-a-v-e-n-l-y.

And now, life is returning to normal. "Normal" as in the day-to-day life in preparation for yet another tournament...only 6 days to go.

World Music class this morning. Donated blood for the first time. Decided giving blood is a really neat experience. Apologetics class this afternoon. Speech practice. Late night debate research.

Life is great