What my heart desires:

I want to:
Here:

Right now.
Pre-Tournament stress relief.

Overwhelmed?

Ever feel like that donkey? No matter what you do, you're still stuck and no matter how hard you kick, you've made no progress? Have you ever felt so weighed down by circumstances so out of your control? Desperate. Hopeless. Overwhelmed?

I'm so sorry!

I don't feel like that at all! At least, not right now.

I memorized two pages of the finally written persuasive, re-worked and re-memorized the original oratory and re-memorized the open interp as well. My brain has turned to mush...but it's an exciting, exhausting, thrilling mush.

After mushifying my cerebellum, I took a much needed dinner break - which included soup, croissants, Animal Planets "Most Extreme Swarms" and a sneak peak at the new Oprah. Yes....I do like and watch Oprah.

But, duty calls. Duty desperately calls and I'm back surrounded by three scripts I'll need to know like the back of my hand in two days. Hmmm, I wonder if this is what college feels like? Exciting, wonderful, exhausting, stressful, addicting and insane. I think I rather like it.

And Houston is supposed to be in the high 70s. That makes all the tedious prep work SO worth it. 79 degrees in a new state with new speeches making new friends at a new tournament learning tons of new things. Does it get much better?

I'm packed. The suitcase is ready. The suits are pressed and all set. The script submission forms are finished. The food is neatly stowed away. The shoes are polished. The Apologetics box waits by the door. My brain is on a vacation in Tahiti. Hotel confirmation numbers have been confirmed and re-confirmed. Airline tickets double checked. Itinerary has been finalized (for the most part). My brain has decided to boycott any new information. The weather has been researched. I officially can't wait!!

Isn't life one big, thrilling roller coster?

Late Night Nothingness

"I'm the kind of girl that will burst out laughing, in dead silence, at something that happened yesterday."

Has that ever happened to you? That happens to me all the time! Recently a friend suggested maybe I try talking less...just to see what would happen. But all the little conversations, inside jokes, movie quotes, funny moments in my recent history, observations of the world, ideas and random thoughts would so explode....I'd probably just sit there laughing at my silent self like some insane whack. Hmmm, won't try that anytimes soon.

Meanwhile, today's been a wonderful rollercoaster.

I went to work this morning and got so frustrated and fed-up with everything, that I concocted a brilliant new plan and shall put it into action at 8:30 tomorrow morning. We shall see how it all plays out, don't worry - I'll fill you in when the time is right.

So yes. It's nearly 1:00am. My brain is dead from speech writing. Thus, I am writing complete nonsense on this blog of mine. I suppose it's a very good thing ya'll can't comment. I'm a raving lunatic at 1:00am....and yet, you love me anyways!

I know! I know!

Alright. It's high time I go to sleep.

Explosion

Houston is a mere nine days away. Only seven days remain until Mama and I hop on a plane and fly over half the nation. Seven more days to finalize Apologetics outlines, get suits together, polish that OI, plan out the schedules of three Sacramento-bound siblings, practice that DUO, and finish memorizing that OO. My mind is whirling, twirling....spinning.

And I signed up to do a Humorous Interpretation. Me.

So, amidst re-memorizing my OO (yes, I'd forgotten quite a bit since Concordia) and reworking both interps, I began the fun task of cramming yet another 10 minutes of script and choreographing into my already brimming memory.
11 characters, 5 hours of memorizing and 2 hours of blocking later....I decided it wasn't for me.

Nope. Knowing me, knowing my personality type, I decided that I couldn't pull this HI off like it deserved - not with the limited time I had. Time crunches aren't very conducive to great speeches, sadly. But! All is not lost. Senorita Comica (a.k.a. Sara) is going to adopt the speech and take on the delightful challenge. I'm looking forward to watching her take the speech - she'll do great.
But! My speech moms refused to let my brain get lazy....so now, though I'm still waiting for the NCFCA Board's approval, the plan is to switch the HI to a Pers! We paid for five speeches at Houston, so good golly, if all goes well....I'll still be doing five. Quick! Memorize! Only nine days to go!

So now, I'm back to cramming my brain with a DIFFERENT 10 minutes of script and blocking. Much different, *much* different - my brain feels like an explosive wasteland. Isn't last-minute, Senior-year strategizing fun? It's insane. It's crazy. It's insane. Crazy. INSANE!

And yet, so.much.fun.

I Am

Risa Marie

I am 18 and smiling

I wonder about the stars and the sea

I hear the laughter in the rain

I see beyond the superficial

I want to be a medical missionary; a surgeon overseas

I am 18 and smiling

I pretend to know how to cook

I feel the joy of the flowers. The happiness of the breeze

I touch the smoothness of bubbles

I worry about my future

I cry for the lost and hopeless in the world

I am 18 and smiling

I understand that God's grace is incredible

I say that I love life
I dream of making a difference

I try to be real

I hope for adventure

I am 18 and smiling

--

Risa

Thoughtful. Curious. Playful. Mysterious.

First born of Mary and Jim

Sister of Sara, Ryan and Mark

Lover of laughter, beach sand and music

Who feels pain, grief and joy

Who needs God, happiness and a challenge

Who gives encouragement, ideas and amusement

Who enjoys popcorn, 110-degree weather and road trips

Who fears anger, spiders and a cage

Who would like to see a fjord, the pyramids, the Blarney Stone.

I am...me!

Smiley Things

"Lucky" - Jason Mraz, Colbie Caillat
"By Your Side" - Tenth Avenue North
"One Love" - Bob Marley
"The Lion Sleeps Tonight" - The Tokens
"We Belong" - Pat Benatar
"Only You" - Joshua Radin
"Mile Away" - Capital Lights
"Sitting on the Dock of the Bay" - Otis Redding

-

Don't you love things that make you happy?

Some people say that it's superficial to surround yourself with things you know make you happy. Is it shallow to immerse yourself in delight? To dance in joy? To look at all things beautiful and pleasing and wonderful?
-
I don't think so.

-

I think life is too short not to. I think life is delightful. I think life is exciting and thrilling and one big, grand adventure.

I think there is going to be a lot of pain in life. I think there is going to be lots of grief. Lots of dark. Lots of wrong. A lot of pain.

So, if you know life is going to include shadows and pain and grief - why not surround yourself with wonder and beauty and joy?

Happiness is a choice. Happiness is an attitude. Happiness is a beautiful, wonderful gift.
So do! Place beautiful flowers on the counter. Listen to that fun music. Dance in front of the mirror. Laugh!

-

Life is good.

Up On the Roof

When this old world starts getting me down

And people are just too much for me to face

I climb way up to the top of the stairs

and all my cares just drift right into space

On the roof, it's peaceful as can be

And there the world below can't bother me

...

And if this world starts getting you down

There's room enough for two

Up on the roof

-

Last night the moon was absolutely gorgeous. Brilliant and bright, it silently beamed down at the shivering, sleepy world below. It was a perfect night to head up to the roof and look up at the night sky, but since it was so cold, I couldn't muster enough "umph" to actually do it.

-

In the summer I love to lay on the roof and watch the stars. Orion. The Big Dipper. Cassiopeia. They're all up there, turning in a never-ending celestial dance. I love laying on the scratchy shingles, listening to the crickets and summer breeze, and staring up at the sky.

-

So peaceful. So satisfying. So wonderful.

"Isn't it a cheerful flower?"

The Sound of Music

Philmont. The Rotterdam Novembers. Capitol Lights.
Two nights ago was the thrilling three-in-one concert at our friend's Church out in Orangevale.

It was one night of great friends and truly fantastic, rockin' music.

"I'm a mile away from where I belong"

"Let the Little Lady Talk"

And tonight I'm heading off with my "date", Ryan, to another, very different, concert. Kodo, the world renown Japanese drumming troupe has come to California and will be performing at the Mondavi Center at 8:00. I've heard amazing things about these drummers, and my World Music professor has only glowing reports to tell.

Music is so fantastic. It's so different. So varied.
Like us.

My Goal...

[Jesus] combined childlike innocence with manly strength, absorbing devotion to God with untiring interest in the welfare of man, tender love to the sinner with uncompromising severity against sin, commanding dignity with winning humility, fearless courage with wise caution, unyeilding firmness with sweet gentleness!

-John Schaff