Silence comes from a mind at war

Once again, I find myself wrestling with fierce emotions. Once again, I find I can't suppress an overwhelming desire to remain somewhat sane and hence write my feelings. And once again, the fear of judgement, legalism, and disdain makes me hesitate. The things I write stem from a heart of passion, a mind at work, and a soul longing to please and glorify Him in what I say and do. And yet, I am afraid to write, afraid to expose my mental tumult, afraid to...be real.

My mind is whirling tonight. It's a strange palette of emotions, though these feelings are not new. I've suppressed some for so long, ignored others for so long, that now, now that I am allowing them to creep hesitatingly forward, I feel overwhelmed.

And yet, all is not overwhelming or sad or difficult:

My awesome cousin is getting married in a week and I'm their photographer (:D!)

The Illusionist is a good movie

Sara and I bought the paint for our bedroom today

Sara and I plan to start painting tomorrow

Jamaica is 31 days away (!!!!)