Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Details: Don't Let the Love Die

It's a vicious cycle, this nocturnal habit of thinking and writing. It's not until my body is fully exhausted and sore, that my mind decides to think and wonder and look at the world from every possible angle. It's not insomnia: I'm usually asleep before the sheets have finished rustling. "Before your head hits the pillow", my dad always chuckled. It's just a sweet, overwhelming sensation of having words tumbling around in your head, wanting to escape, begging you not to lose them to slumber's forgetfulness.

And so tonight? Tonight my mind is on the details, the gentle details, of a relationship.

I inadvertently watched a sad romantic drama tonight. I had seen posters for Blue Valentine when it first came out and, while the trailer looked charming, I'd never actually seen the film until now. So with a steaming mug of black tea and a little bowl of blueberries to stand-in as popcorn, I found it on Netflix. A little Ryan Gosling now and then never hurt anyone. The cinematography was artistic, the camerawork skillful, but my mind is still mulling over the theme: a man and wife who've fallen out of love with each other. Their days are monotonous, their interaction brief and business-like, their conversation limited to who'll attend the parent-teacher meeting and who should take out the trash. The vibrancy, the intimacy, the sweetness, the gone. The old love is dead; they've been reduced to two strangers who happen to share a history, a house, and a daughter.

Watching their tension, tears, conflict and utter apathy towards each other made me re-realize the importance of details in a relationship. The small gestures that make both of you laugh, the words of appreciation or encouragement to build each other up, the time spent to reconnect after a long and hectic day. It's easy to forget, or be too tired, or think it's not important, when in reality, nothing could be more significant. I'm reminded that it takes nurturing to create a connection that will outlast the seasons; be that between lovers, friends, coworkers, or family members. In the whirlwind of life and jobs and responsibilities, you only have the people around you, and we can't afford to overlook the details. Don't let the love die.

"I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it full speed ahead. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all, become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good. Hot is no good, either. White, hot, and passionate is the only thing to be." -Roald Dahl

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