Thursday, December 17, 2015

Tonight's been very....adolescent.

It's freezing in San Diego and it's almost Christmas, which means it's hypothermic and there's so much traffic you run through an entire tank of gas sitting on the exit bypass.

I worked through lunch today so I was starving by 5pm. They say "so hungry I could eat an elephant", but elephants are getting poached at alarming rates and I adore them, so I prefer "so hungry I ordered an entire box of soft tacos from Taco Bell and ate four of them in said traffic".

Our heater at home doesn't work. An entire wall unit that you have to get down on your hands and knees to turn on the pilot light in hopes the rest catches and it'll blow heat for 10 minutes or so. Once you remove your face from the baseboards and dusted off your knees, it'll turn off. So down you go again to play with the gears, adjust the flame, and tweak the gas a little. Then back up to enjoy the heat for long enough for your fingertips to regain feeling. And then it burns out and you're back down. It's like burpies or pushups. My janky home CrossFit.

So naturally, I took a 30 minute scalding shower to defrost.

And then piled every blanket I own on the bed. I am now the royal Princess and the Pea...except all the blankets are on top, burying me in heavy heat. It's divine. A little suffocating, but warm.

Now I'm finally warm with three tabs open on my desktop simultaneously. One is playing Breakfast at Tiffany's and Holly just snuck through Fred's window. Darling creep. Another tab has my resume open. It's been four months at my job so naturally I'm restless and working on "professional development" (i.e. snooping on everyone else's LinkedIn to see where they went to school, what they majored in, and what rungs of the ladder they've climbed to get where they are today). And the other tab is here. Hello.

It's warm, so I'm never getting out of this bed again. The end. 

No comments: