Saturday, November 9, 2013

To Regret or Not to Regret?

In my spare (ha!) time I like to peruse strangers' blogs. I find them an intriguing insight into another's thoughts; it's like a window into someone else's mind. Fascinating.

Tonight, I found a hurting blog post who's interpretation of heartbreak made me stop and reflect:

"Thoughts: Regret is Just Love Spelled Backwards
People in the end are just regrets. They are the email you shouldn't have sent. They are the phone call you shouldn't have made. They are the late night you should have walked home alone. They are the streets you should have never walked down and doors that should have stayed closed...
...People in the end are just a series of events we wish we never experienced."

See, I differ in my opinion of past loves; I find this pervasive regret sad and unfair to both parties. It may not have worked out in the end, but that doesn't discredit the happiness, the intimacy, the countless beautiful moments and laughter shared together. I have never, not for a moment, regretted the year we had together, the months I waited, or the tears we shared. And so, I'm countering with my own "thoughts":

Thoughts: Evolve is (ev)Love Spelled Backwards
People, in the end, are teachers. Windows into the secrets of humanity and the universe. They are the ones that forced you to be vulnerable and taught you how to trust. They are the text messages that made you smile at midnight and the hand to hold down countless cracked sidewalks. They are the reason your eyes have more smile wrinkles and the reason there's the understanding of heartbreak hiding in their depths. They are the ones that taught you what you value most - in life, yourself, and in others. They taught you the science of cuddling and pillowtalk, the beautiful riskiness of trust, of and how far you're willing to compromise. They are proof you tried. People, in the end, are a series of teachers that help you discover, and evolve into, who you truly are. 

2 comments:

Freckled Philologist said...

So so so love this. So refreshing. So hopeful. So encouraging. You are sunshine. Pure and true.

Anonymous said...

I don't know that I agree with you, for your interpretation of the connotation. If we all had perfect, orderly lives, we'd never learn, never grow. We are the sum of those regrets and how they have moved us, how they have changed or informed us. I think it's how we grow. I agree we are the sum of our regrets, otherwise we would be terribly boring.

You could say pervasive regret is problematic, but I counter with this; isn't the idea of history to keep regret alive? The civil war, world war two...we learn from past mistakes if we can still feel the sting--the moment we dismiss or move aside that regret we repeat those mistakes. Regret doesnt mean to wallow. I think like death, we need to embrace it as part of a healthy life?

Or gee, maybe I get points for turning negativity into constructive learning? :D